It’s early in the year. My brain is too muddled with sugar cookies to dive into a serious blog. So I thought I’d kick off January with a few TRUE nightmare interviews. My hope is that this will trigger a few memories of your own and you’ll share them in a reply!
Mind if I Eat While We Talk?
Our team was hiring a Project Manager and the interviews had lasted for 3 days. I had just one more candidate to talk to and then I could make my recommendations to my manager. “Sam” showed up in my office looking a bit flustered and explained that I was the 4th person in a row that he had spoken to that day. I knew that. After we got settled, he reached into this briefcase and took out a copy of his resume which he handed to me. Then he reached in again and took out a foot-long Italian hoagie that he proceeded to unwrap on my desk and saw in half with a plastic knife that immediately broke. He swore. “Sorry. I mean I hope you don’t mind if I eat. But they scheduled me over lunch and I am absolutely starving to death. I have to eat this or seriously, I think I’ll faint.” And he did. (Eat it, not faint.) I was flabbergasted. What or who led him to believe that it was OK to chomp through 2 pounds of meat and cheese and onions—lots of onions—while he answered my questions (to the best of his ability with a full mouth)? It was noon and as I recall I was also starving. Should I have asked—ney, demanded–that he give me half? Maybe. Instead I carried on, knowing that he had done me the favor of not making my final decision harder. My office smelled like a deli for an entire week. Who knows. Maybe Sam ended up with a marvelous career in in food service.
We Could Make Beautiful Music Together
Early in my career, I interviewed at a mid-sized ad agency for a junior copywriting position. I knew that I was qualified for the job and had a friend on the inside who had helped me to prepare for the interview. The Creative Director was known to be a bit of a character, a requirement of the role in those days. We met in his office and things were going very well. He liked my background and the samples that I had provided. Then things went sideways.
Him: Just one final question: What instrument do you play?
Me: (Smiling apologetically) Oh gosh. I don’t.
Him: You don’t play ANY musical instrument?
Me: No. I never learned. Why do you ask?
Him: Well, everyone on my team plays an instrument. And every Friday after work, the band—well, my staff– gathers at my house in the city and we jam and drink beers and order pizza. It’s a blast! It’s just something we’ve been doing for the past nine years and it’s really brought us together!
Me: Wait. The Creative Department has been meeting at your house every Friday after work for 9 years? Wow. Yeah, that sounds so fun. I don’t play an official instrument but you know I could always grab a tambourine!
Him: (No longer smiling) No, no, I mean a real instrument. I was so hoping you’d play drums. Our drummer just moved to LA.
Despite my sunny enthusiasm and assurances that I could make a great WORK contribution to this team, the rejection letter came 3 days later. I guess my Mother was right when she told me I’d regret quitting piano after 6 months. Geesh.
How about you? What’s the worst interview you’ve ever been a part of? Share it in the comments!